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Minions, this is your moment.

You are about to embark on a journey like no other. We cannot guarantee that you will learn to command the elements with a flick of the wrist, or that you won’t be tortuously disassembled and thrown into a river. We can however guarantee that you will be among the first to savor Derek’s wit and brilliance.

Sign up for exclusives below, follow Derek on the media of mortals, and join your fellow minions in their reverence.